Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Why I am Glad that I am Depressed

"But [Jesus] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."... For when I am weak, then I am strong."

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

"All things work together for the good of those who love God, and are called according to his purposes."

I take this to be truth. It is what gets me going. Because even though my human strength is gone, God is strong enough for me. And depression is that exactly, it is a season in my life when my own strength is so far gone, that I continue to breathe literally only for the grace of God. I understand it, and even though it hurts, in the moments of deep anguish, I am strong. I cannot imagine going through depression without the love of a sovereign God, and the sovereignty of a loving God. Because those are my joy, not the fleeting moments of man made happiness I strive for, and fail to gain all too often. 

The more deeply I understand the true meaning of God's grace, the more willing I am to trust Him in the darkness of this valley. God has me where He wants me and will lead me where He wants me. I do not need clarity; I need trust: hope and faith. Hope for good, and faith in good. Together they become trust that God is good. That He is planning good and doing good on my behalf.

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