For over a year and a half now, I have been deeply convicted that I needed to obtain a passport in order to obey God’s will. It is hard to say, “Here am I, God. Send me” when you can’t travel outside of your own country. I put it off and put it off; procrastinating and rationalizing, I avoided the whole thing. My secret fear was that if I got my passport God would then automatically call me to an uncomfortable place like he called Jonah to Nineveh.
My simple ironic response to this fear was to disobey God “just a little bit” to avoid “really” running from Him. I didn’t want to head all the way to Tarshish, but I also didn’t want to go to my Nineveh. As I prayed and sought wise counsel, I began to voice this fear. And God showed me it was sinful, irrational and small. God is so much bigger, and His plans are so much better.
Because God is great and I don’t have to be in control, and because He is good and my satisfaction and comfort are in Him, I decided to relinquish my fears at the cross and trust Jesus to guide me through my life. This was my act of faith and repentance, today I went to the passport office and applied. I have been a Christian for the majority of my life, but I still need grace everyday. There is no way to avoid “big sins” by committing “little sins”, but when we let the Holy Spirit fill us and lead us, we can change. The Gospel will not ever stop shaping who I am.
How can God change you today?